Thursday, April 19, 2007

An Intergalactic Space Case Study

We are pleased to announce the results of our latest marketing adventure. Last year we were hired by a certain global company to market inter-globally. Their product was actually selling so well here on earth that they wanted to search the universe for new potential consumers. So with the help of NASA, Wexley constructed the largest billboard ever made, not only on earth, but in the universe. Seriously. We built a 465 mile long 235 mile high billboard on the moon. It was placed on the back of the moon to face Venus, so that is why you haven’t seen it. It has been there for a year and it has been amazingly successful. Since Venus is believed to be the highest odds of any planet of having life, it seemed only right to try and market there. So if there is a chance of life forming there, they will have this product ingrained in their very existence. There is also the extended value of possibly reaching a secondary target with possible life on Europa, the second largest moon of Jupiter. Also, there is a third and more unlikely target of any space beings who may be out there after being accidentally cut from their tethers. Wexley is so excited with the metrics. The numbers are astounding. Using the moon dollar conversion rate, the spend to calculated impression is probably the best media buy in the history of media buys. For every moon dollar spent we reached all of Venus, the entire planet ,for over 1 whole year. And since Venus rotates slower than the Earth any possible life would be able to see the billboard for longer hours every day thus making the buy even more impressive. This obviously assumes that life on Venus has eyes. Anyhow, add in the added value of the impressions of other possible life on other possible planets and you have the largest media buy ever. And Wexley School for Girls did it, so don’t worry about it.

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